The Box Illustration

Recently a friend asked me to write down my "box" illustration for parenting or classroom management. Here it is. It comes from the Biblical ideas of parenting from Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman. (I also highly recommend Ginger Plowman's "Wise Words for Moms" chart). I have taken what I learned in both of these books over the years and adapted it to my elementary classroom environment.

The Box Illustration

Draw several size boxes on a sheet of paper. Explain that there are different sets of rules in different families, different schools, and different classrooms. Maybe it's ok to wear a hat in your house, but it is not ok at school, etc., hence different size boxes. Here is our box. Now draw a little person inside the box. You know what our family rules are. As long as you obey those rules, you remain inside the box. (My classroom kids crack up about being told to "stay inside the box" and like to go home and tell their parents that I want to keep them all in boxes!) If you break a rule, you are now outside the box and I must punish you. Draw an arrow from the person to outside the box. Inside MY box (as your parent or teacher) is the rule that I must discipline my child if they break the rules. If I allow you to break the rules, then I am outside of my box and must face my own consequences (with God, the principal, etc.). Typically this reasoning make sense to elementary age children. If necessary, go over the family rules just to make sure everyone is clear about the expectations. This same illustration is a much easier way to explain why different families have different rules rather than have to get into a discussion of WHY those rules are different! (Just because!)

I also use a box symbol (on the back of my name badge) on paper or with my fingers. It's a visual reminder to my students that they are in danger of going outside the box and it's time to check their behavior. This works well in the hallways or during an assembly. It is much less embarrassing to the student than having their name called out and allows them to take control of the situation. The rest of my students know what it means but not others outside our class.

I also remind them that as long as they stay within the box, I will do my best to protect and defend their behavior to others who question a situation. If they are outside the box, then I will side with the other teacher and pass out the punishment. Although this seems like a given that a teacher or parent would defend their own, it is clearly something comforting for the kids to hear.

I do not bribe or reward for following the directions and obeying the rules, but I do have very high expectations and clearly spelled out punishments. I do randomly reward "caught being good" behavior or those who go above and beyond. (And my classroom rewards are tickets that go into a weekly drawing for coupons to skip homework, move your desk for a day, trade class jobs, etc.) I talk often about the reward of a "good name" where others want to be with you rather than dread the mention of your name. Life's like that, isn't it ?! I do try to be very consistent about nipping bad behavior in the bud. There just isn't room for it in my classroom or home!

The book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" has much more content about getting to the heart of the issue of the behavior than I can go into in my classroom, but it's quite easy to tailor the Biblical principal to the classroom. The more I earn my students respect the more they will respect and honor my classroom expectations. The biggest offenders in my classroom typically are those who do not have clear expectations at home. Getting them to obey the rules in order to make a good name for themselves rather than just out of fear of punishment is a huge hurdle in the beginning. It's worth it, though! Watching them defend each other or telling me that they should have been punished along with someone else is a huge life lesson learned.

I have never written out this description before so let me know if you have an questions or if I am unclear about any area. If you are interested in more info, definately look at the books suggested. They are the experts, not me! I prefer Ginger Plowman's practical wisdom and explanations.